F'd Ad Fridays: It's never too early to teach your daughter to whore

Jezebel reports that these thong underpants were part of the Kmart Girl Xpress line of clothing that markets itself to tweens in Australia:

They have since been taken of the shelves.

F'd Ad Fridays: 12 awkward days of Xmas from down under

Adrants shared this weird Australian underwear and sleepwear promo. It starts averagely enough, with cute little kids, but as the metaphors get stretched further and further in the quest to relate the song's gifts to people in their gitch, it just gets weirder and weirder.

And occasionally, sort of insulting.

The baritone singer is Jack Ladder. I would have preferred Tay Zonday.

This Australian ad is worth it

It's worth the initial disappointment of the expository super at the front. It's worth the awkwardness you feel as you see the twins interacting. Because the payoff is quite unexpected.



Nice work, Clemenger BBDO Melbourne

Via Healthy Ads

Playboy energy drink ads almost as stupid as the brand extension

I guess with the failure of the Playboy Club show, and the increasing die-off of old men who still like their softcore pornography in print form, Playboy needs to find ways to be relevant. And so they extend the brand to the breaking point by trying to associate sugary caffeine pops with male sexual mastery. "Energy to play?" These read like bad student work, except that the cultural references are more suitable for men in their 50s. I wonder if they contain viagra?

Via AOTW

Killer jeans

As we get more and more saturated with sex and violence — both real and online — we apparently become harder to shock. So this long ad/short film for Australia's Billycock Denim & Co tries to lure us in with highly-sexualized psychopathy.



It's all very stylized and pretty average for the fashion industry. But will there come a point at which consumers won't want their denim brand associations to be about necrophilia and mass murder?

Dead sexy. (Ewwwwww!)

Via Illegal Advertising

Australia is now selling virgins online

The Telegraph reports that an australian escort agency has, among its various women for hire, a 19-year-old student who is offering her virginity for $15000.

And indeed, there it is:

Her nationality is given as Chinese, as well as these vitals:

• Name : MOC Virgin    
• Age : 19
• Body Size : 6
• Cup Size : B
• Height : 166
• Language : English, Mandarin
• Type : Student
• Speciality :Virgin
• Bookings : 15000/Virgin

The most disturbing part (if it can get any worse) is her "must sold by" date of 12/12.

Obviously, this is upsetting both to moralists and to human rights advocates.

The Australian Christian Lobby commented, "selling someone else's virginity takes the cause of women's liberation back centuries." And it does.

Anti-trafficking organization Brothel Busters representative Chris Seage says that he believes the woman is  in it willingly. "There is a sadly recurring theme among young Asian girls who come to Australia to study and work, and get themselves into debt. It is clear she is doing this because she needs the money urgently."

Apparently Australia has no laws against the offer to sell virginity, or that an agency would profit by it.

"This is pretty common in Sydney," said an anonymous spokesman from the escort service, adding that they already have two interested pigs perverts clients. She will get to keep about half of the price on her maidenhead.

F'd Ad Fridays: Unfortunate condom ad copy

Brisbane Times reports that this condom ad is drawing complaints from parents who don't like seeing pictures of sexy body-painted models so close to their kids' schools.

The complaint came via the Australian Christian Lobby's Wendy Francis. The uptight Ms. Francis has previously lobbied (unsuccessfully) to get a gay-positive safe sex PSA poster banned.

This time, however, she hit on an actually point. She insisted that the bus shelter ad is sexually offensive and contained no positive message about safe sex.

While I see nothing offensive about the imagery (condom ads should promote pleasure and fun) the headline is not very responsible. "Zero or Nothing" may be a clever play on words that implies it is the only acceptable way to cap the Jimmy, but the implication of barebacking as the alternative is not exactly public health friendly. Not a great move for this category.

F'd Ad Fridays: So many things to hate about this ad in just 30 seconds

It's actually kind of amazing. It starts of with some dude poking his girlfriend's breast repeatedly (luckily, it appears to be manmade, and hopefully therefore less sensitive to manhandling). Then the god-awful Australian stereotyped voiceover kicks in. Then we get some random goofy violence and gore. Then we get the pitch for a mobile gambling app, "the greatest invention since betting", which is bound to bankrupt more than one unfortunate doofus...

Tip via Copyranter

Birthing a new brand and pushing ad boundaries

Sydney IVF, an Australian fertility clinic, is celebrating its rebranding as "Genea" with a commercial featuring a real human birth.

But is the baby union?

Tastefully filmed and edited, this film was created by Zia Mandviwalla from Curious Film in New Zealand and agency Rhodes Shapter. The unnamed mum is a New Zealander who consented to the intimate six-hour shoot because she was the veteran of two uncomplicated natural births and anticipated a low-risk third.



Some youthful or "childfree" viewers may have a squeamish reaction to this when it is broadcast on Australian TV, but I sincerely hope not. Anyone who has experienced or attended a birth knows that this ad represents something beautiful and essentially human. Not to mention something that none of us would be here without.

Bravo. 

Australian reality show invites admen to solve impossible briefs

Why don't we have a show this cool in North America?

Australia's The Gruen Transfer has a segment called "The Pitch" in which it asks viewers to suggest objectives for "impossible" creative briefs via social media, which real admen and adwomen then have to pitch spec creative on.

This episode, in which Australians were asked to support a ban on vulgar language, was pretty fucking hilarious. (Wear headphones if you don't work in an unashamedly vulgar ad agency office.)



You can just leave the playlist going to see other briefs. I just love how this show not only entertains, but educates viewers on how ads are conceived, and how different two good solutions to one problem can be.

CBC, I hope you are reading this.

F'd Ad Fridays: Deliberately bizarre Australian hostel ad

The explosions really make it.

Via Buzzfeed

F'd Ad Fridays: The most awkward jingle from the '70s?

This bizarre old RC Cola spot from Australia features an impressively unsingable jingle, "unusual hair", bumcrack and sideboob:



Well, okay then.