F'd Ad Fridays: Find His Porn

Who needs a trusting relationship of mutual respect when, for just $19.95, you can expose your partner's computer to some stranger's cyber-frisking?

From the site:

"Why do I need it? 

Long gone are the days when guys would hide their porn stash under their mattress or in their dresser drawers. Porn has gone virtual – which means no more adult DVD’s or dirty magazines that you will find lying around. Everything he looks at is right there on your computer, only problem is it’s not easy to find. Aren’t you curious what he’s up to? You are not alone. Most women are curious and until now there was little that could be done. Now all you have to do is try Find His Porn today and see exactly what he’s watching. "

Or you could just ask him to share it, if you're so into that kind of thing.

Via Buzzfeed

Sesame Street's catchiest tune was stolen from Italian porn

"Vorrei manamanarti!"

The most infectious tune ever written was apparently revisited in the new Muppet Movie (which I have yet to see) but I recall it best from the golden age of Sesame Street:



Slate tracked down the original song to, of all places,  a 1968 Italian soft-core movie called Sweden: Heaven and Hell by Luigi Scattini.

From Amazon: "Edmund Purdom narrates a pseudo-documentary about sexuality in Sweden. It shows contraceptives for teen girls, lesbian nightclubs, wife swapping, porno movies, biker gangs, and Walpurgis Night celebrations. It also examines Sweden's purported drug, drinking and suicide problems. It features the original appearance of the Piero Umiliani's nonsense song 'Mah Nà Mah Nà' which was later popularized by 'Sesame Street' and 'The Muppet Show'"

Piero Umiliani, according to Wikipedia, "composed the scores for many exploitation films in the 1960s and 1970s, covering genres such as spaghetti western, Eurospy, Giallo, and soft sex films. Although not as widely regarded as, for example, Ennio Morricone or Riz Ortolani, he helped form the style of the typical European 1960s and 1970s jazz influenced film soundtrack, that later experienced a revival in films such as Kill Bill, and "Crepuscolo Sul Mare" in Ocean's Twelve."

In other words, he may be the most awesome composer you've never heard of. But Henson heard it when it briefly charted on US radio, and gave it eternal life.

Here's the original clip. It is pretty uncontroversial.

F'd Ad Fridays: Nude Modelling Camp (sounds totally legit)

Photographer Beau Picasso is keeping the dream alive for short, creepy men everywhere. He has apparently found a way to convince women to pay him to take them to isolated locations where they strip naked and pose for his camera.

And it's not even a professional camera.

"Models are whisked from the airport to a reception at the roof top pool of the five-star Elysée Palace hotel, where they meet the other models from around the world. They are assigned to shared apartments (three models fit quite comfortably) and they start to get excited about the next morning’s shoot at Coco Beach. 

A relaxed photo shoot with Beau and his female assistants (who are also photographers) is sometimes interrupted by swims in the Mediterranean and sun tanning. Then, perhaps, a sunset picnic on the beach and an excited conversation about the next day’s shoot. 

Our camps provide shared apartment style accommodations with complete kitchen, wifi access and 24-hour security. We are only steps away from the beach, food, culture, and shopping. A 50% deposit is required upon registration and the balance is due before camp begins."

Here's one of Beau's softcore porn infomercials. It contains nudity and sleaze:


Beau Picasso Models: On the French Riviera from James Anthony on Vimeo.

F'd Ad Fridays: Supersexy Swingin' Sixties Branding

The Polaroid Swinger was the first affordable instant camera, creating a whole world of opportunities for personal photography. It was also a huge enabler for amateur porn. As with the digital revolution decades later, it cut prying photo lab guys out of the picture.

How aware was Polaroid of what people were doing with its product behind closed doors?

Watch these ads and decide for yourself.





Happy Friday, everyone.

"Aggressive Ho" and other porn parodies of your least favourite ads

For years, I've been saying that the inevitable conclusion of increasingly supersexualized ads is that they'll soon drop all pretenses and go directly to the hardcore porn approach.

PETA has already validated this on the sexy advertiser side with their plan to launch a porn site featuring nude vegans gone wild.

Now, according to AdFreak, Hustler is meeting PETA in the middle with a porn movie about advertising, "America's Favorite Commercials Gone Porn".

Here's one (censored for YouTube) that makes fun of Flo from Progressive Insurance:



You can check out the rest (including the obvious "Five-Dollar Footlong" bit) at AdFreak.

F'd Ad Fridays: Vodacom gives us hot cloaca porn

(click to enlarge and read)

Ironic that an ad warning parents about the perversity of the internet should feature the most explicit and twisted interspecies erotica I've seen in, like, at least an hour.

Via Copyranter

You knew it was coming to this: PETA to launch porn site

The controversial ".XXX" top level domain is set to launch at year's end. And at the bottom of a Reuters article about how major brands are scrambling to lock down their claims against sexy squatters is this item:

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals also signed up. However, instead of blocking its name, said PETA spokeswoman Lindsay Rajt, the organization will launch peta.xxx as a pornography site that draws attention to the plight of animals.

PETA has long used and abused sexuality (particularly female sexuality) to get its message across.

The fleshy outreach comes in two flavours: the tasteful celebrity nude and the naked dedication of an army of beautiful young nobodies around the world.

The question arises whether PETA is planning to put these earnest and trusting efforts into its "porn" enterprise. First of all, I doubt many of the actresses or volunteers want a career in porn. With, perhaps, some notable exceptions...

Second, why would anyone pay for what PETA gives away for free?

I realize this is just a publicity stunt. But it should also lead you to question what they're really willing to do for their cause.