F'd Ad Fridays: Effing Student Work

Redditor Jo3 posted some of his student work:

My advice to you, Jo3: There's enough commoditization of women's sexuality out there already, and it doesn't help to compare their vaginas to hot pockets. You are a clever creative with bold ideas. You can do much better than this.

An Open Letter to Hawkins Cheezies

Dear Mr. Hawkins

Today is Halloween, and I am giving out nothing but Cheezies.

This is not due to any obsession with your product. It is the best of its category, sure, but there are other reasons to give it out.

First of all, I am from Kingston. You are from Belleville. I now live in Ottawa. And your product gives me the opportunity to contribute to a regional family-owned business. My family and I buy local food as much as possible — Ontario wines, and local cheese, meat and produce. So the opportunity to make even our rare junk food purchases (sorry) locavorous is one we appreciate.

Second, I'm having more and more of a problem with chocolate these days. A child labour problem. So much of the cheap chocolate that will be given out tonight to excited children was illegally harvested by children their own age in Ghana and Ivory Coast. These kids are exposed to dangerous working conditions, climbing trees with machetes to harvest pods, and few of them go to school. Many are trafficked from neighbouring countries as slave labour. It's really sad.

That's why my wife and I have tried to move towards Fairtrade chocolate from another regional company, Camino. But that stuff is a little expensive for Halloween giveaways.

Your product, on the other hand, is very affordable. I just wish it had not been so hard to find. But I know how the companies of "Big Chips" dominate shelf space with money and pressure. My sharp-eyed son managed to find two 24-packs of 28g bags of Cheezies stuffed into a bottom shelf at the Halloween display in an Ottawa Wal-Mart. (We had to buy the rest in much more expensive 8-count bags from Metro.)

Part of my Hawkins horde.

I was surprised how few Hawkins Cheezies I could find in local retail. Everyone seems to agree that yours are the best. Humpty Dumpty's cheese things and Cheetos both have long and scary ingredients lists, compared to yours — including MSG. People like your crunch better, too, and the fact that the orange stuff is not quite so stainingly neon.

I would have expected that Halloween was the perfect time to mount a strong regional campaign, touting your provenance and your goodness, to encourage parents around Ontario to act as brand ambassadors to hand out Cheezies samples at their doors. But I saw nothing.

You have a good product, but I'm afraid that your marketing is a little old fashioned. Why can't I find this beloved Canadian brand on Facebook? Where would I hear your great story, if I had not bothered to Google you? You need help.

And it's not just the "promotional" P of marketing that you need to work on. While the product tastes great, I note that you are a hold-out for still using hydrogenated vegetable oil. While my son doesn't eat enough Cheezies to make the small amount of trans fats a health issue, your competitors have already made the switch to better oils. You need to do that, ASAP. The war on trans fats is not going away.

The other thing you could do is make sure your product fully lives up to its local, wholesome, made-in-Canada heritage. If you're using Canadian corn, you should proudly say so. People like that. And while I don't expect you to go organic, as a family-owned company you could become a very popular champion of smaller, family-owned farms that use non-GMO corn. This would also be a great thing to add to your story. Finally, using real aged cheddar is part of your Canadian charm. Is the cheese made regionally, or provincially? This could also be a great story to tell.

And then there's the peanut thing. Humpty Dumpty got their cheese sticks certified peanut free. I'm sure you could, too.

Your product will never be health food. But it is a "feel-good" food. Wouldn't it be great if you were able to out-maneuver your larger competition in Canada by being the cheese-flavoured snack with more to feel good about?

This is a conversation I'd like to have. So if you're in the neighbourhood tonight, please drop by for some Cheezies.

"We interrupt this ad for a message from our sponsors"

I was reading this AdFreak post about the perennial return of McDonald's McRib sandwich, then I clicked on the Flash video embed for the latest McRib TV ad:



Yeah, I know. Crappy ad.

But the first time I clicked it, I had to sit through a pre-roll ad from Google... to watch the ad I came for.

What. The. Hell?

Let me know if it happened for you.

BTW, if you like the McRib as an ironic brand, but don't want to actually ingest one, try on this McRib t-shirt. All proceeds go to Ronald McDonald House.

F'd Ad Fridays: From "Power to the People" to "Beef Jerky"

Via Another Limited Rebellion

The only way those two statements should be together is if you're making a John Lennon mix tape. Otherwise, it's just really trite marketing exploitation of a volatile political climate.

Yeah, kind of like that.

Truth in branding (and packaging) of cereal for kids

This is a guerrilla art installation by Ron English, who stocked the spoof cereal boxes in Venice Beach.

He calls it "subvertising".  Reminds me of Wacky Packages.

Via Animal NY

F'd Ad Fridays: Tobias Fünke just blue himself at Ben & Jerry's

Just a couple of weeks ago, One Million Moms (part of the American Family Association) was calling for a boycott of Ben & Jerry's for the corrupting influence of their new Schweddy Balls flavour.

But instead of indulging the testicle-obsessed moms with a retraction, B&J (bless their hearts!) are sticking it to them once again. In fact, they're upping the game.

NY Mag reveals the latest in-your-face flavour, above, which is released in honour of Arrested Development's return to TV. If you aren't familiar with the Tobias Fünke character (played by David Cross), he is an analyst/therapist ("Analrapist") who is obsessed with the Blue Man Group and contantly makes Freudian slips that reveal his presumed (but unrealized) homosexuality.

Trust me, this is hilarious. And I'm sure the AFA will think so too.

Taco Bell offers the latest in over-the-top stunt eating cuisine

Junk food junkies are always looking for the latest affront to public health. "Baconator? Awesome! Double Down? I'll have two! Gravy Pizza? Bring it on!"

And for those of you who can't help but stunt eat the latest mysterious fad, Eater confirms that the Facebook rumours are true: There really is a Taco Bell taco with a shell made out of Goddamn Doritos cheesy corn chips. But you have to go to California to get it.

As evidence, the LA Times posted this amateur video capture:



Not my cup of sodium, but I'm sure this will cap off many a drunken night for young men in the area.

Mmmmmmm... Meat-and-potatoes Chips...

Ever have one of those snacktime crises where cou can't decide between potato chips or beef jerky? Just tuck into a bag of Cherkees™ the chips with bits of preserved beef in every bite!

Actual copy:

"Cherkees are a blend of two delicious snack foods; beef jerky and potato chips. These are NOT beef jerky flavored potato chips. Cherkees are real beef jerky AND potato chips AT THE SAME TIME! Lean beef and crispy potato are finally combined into one crunchy beef jerky flavored chip. These chips are one of a kind and currently unavailable in stores. Cherkees are indeed unusual: very low in fat (a third the fat of potato chips), high in protein, and not fried. Now have all the flavor of beef jerky without the chew!"

But I like the chew! I guess they're somewhat less gross than fried pork rinds, but the army surplus packaging is not exactly making my mouth water. But if you're intrigued, you can buy them online here.

Via Foodbeast