Deeky: I am 55 seconds into Atlas Shrugged and Oh My Fucking God is it terrible!
Liss: LOLOLOL!!! Are you going to review it?
Deeky: I dunno. Maybe. Not sure I can. Physically or mentally.
Liss: Bootstraps, son. You need bootstraps.
Deeky: There is this headline on a newspaper at the start. The articles are full of misspellings and grammatical errors! Quality filmmaking.
Liss: That's the liberal media for you!
Deeky: From the paper: "One of the major reasons for gas shortages is that fact that inventories were not very high going into the beginning of the year."
Liss: Who says the Department of Education is superfluous?
Deeky: Another article: "Because houseing prices will keep falling in most places. Prices are still dangerously high compared to incomes and rent."
Liss: The obvious answer is that everyone should live on trains.
Deeky: Sure, no one is really supposed to see that, but come on! This is the age of Blu-Ray! People WILL pause and read the paper.
[Later.]
Deeky: Christ, this is so infantile.
Liss: Of course.
Deeky: It might actually be worse than Country Strong.
Liss: No. Way.
Deeky: I love that this takes place in some fantasy land where the US government isn't a wholly owned subsidiary of the corporate world.
Liss: Why do you hate the job creators?
Deeky: The politics of smelting! Dramatic! This is like the 12 Angry Men of train rail production.
Liss: LOL for realz!
Deeky: I have no idea what is going on.
Liss: It all makes sense if you sniff bootstraps while you watch it.
Deeky: HA! Also, in the future there is no Google. No one knows who John Galt is.
Liss: The government no doubt sold Google to the Russkies.
Deeky: The music is VERY majestic.
Deeky: Except now. Now it's soft. Because there's fucking.
Liss: Mmmmmmm conservafucking.
Deeky: Now they're in the deserts of Wisconsin. This is soooooo terrible.
Liss: That's weird because it sounds GREAT.
Deeky: Seriously: Google. This movie needs Google. How do you set a movie in the future and not have computers?
[Later.]
Liss: I can't believe you watched the whole thing.
Deeky: I still don't know what happened. Something to do with government interference of corporations. And smelting.
Liss: Was it a good cliffhanger?
Deeky: LOL! NO! There was an oil fire and Dagny screamed "Nooo!" and there was a voiceover from Wyatt saying "I'm going on strike."
Liss: Whut? Fuck that noise.
Deeky: I think some of the dialogue was missing. Maybe they only took every other line from the novel. To save time.
Showing posts with label Atlas Shrugged. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Atlas Shrugged. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
It's Here! (Rearden Metal Edition)
Hey, remember that email from Atlas Shrugged Movie I posted about last week? The one that seemed to be advertising something, but was really not advertising anything? Well, the whole mystery has been cleared up with a new email from... drum roll please... REARDEN STEEL!
Yeah, so, the Atlas Shrugged marketing team is finally taking my advice and sending out emails from movie characters. I guess Rearden Steel is a character. As much as anyone or anything in the movie is. It's an entity. Like the Ministry of Love or the Lord of the Flies conch. Right? It would totally get its own Cliffs Notes page. Plus, it's actually clear this time what they are selling. (Cue up Pomp and Circumstance, they are ready to graduate my marketing class!)
They sent me this great email:
The copy in the email reads:
[There is also some stuff about Midas Mulligan's annual sale, whut? And the Canadian premier! Ha! Eat that, Canadians!]
Atlas Shrugged: Part 1: The Search for Spock on Blu-Ray! In a Rearden Steel metal case! Note, this is not actually made of Rearden steel because Rearden steel is fictional. But still!
You and all your friends can order this one-of-a-kind item, which kind of makes me wonder if the marketing team knows what one-of-a-kind means. But nevermind!
The Blu-Ray comes in three different versions (Oof, what's the total now, twelve? Twelve different versions of this DVD/Blu-Ray thing?) with a bunch of exclusive features like the "I am John Galt" fan video compilation which is on the regular DVD, too. This also makes me wonder if the marketing team knows what exclusive means. Ah, well, in marketing words can mean anything you want, dictionaries be damned!
So give yourself (obviously) the gift of Rearden Steel this Xmas! I know I will. (I won't.)
Speaking of Xmas (a non-denominational holiday, just FYI) this stuff is also on Blu-Ray this week:
One Day. Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess have sex once a year for twenty years. Special packaging: Comes inside a Page-A-Day Calendar.
Friends With Benefits. Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake have sex. Special packaging: Comes inside a No Strings Attached DVD case.
The Adventures of Tintin. Cartoon version of the books! Woo hoo! Special packaging: Comes inside a reproduction of Tintin's rocket.
Walk a Mile in My Pradas. Switcheroo Comedy™ about a homophobe who turns gay. Boat Trip meets Vice Versa and/or Like Father Like Son. Special packaging: Comes in a time capsule from 1986.
Conan the Barbarian Reboot! About muscles and swords and (probably) does not feature any Grace Jones. Special packaging: Comes in a faux-fur loincloth.
The Smurfs Reboot! Computer-generated blue wee people (are they people?) get into hijinx and shenanigans with Doogie Howser. Retro! Special packaging: Comes in a can of creative bankruptcy.
Get shopping, Shruggers!
Yeah, so, the Atlas Shrugged marketing team is finally taking my advice and sending out emails from movie characters. I guess Rearden Steel is a character. As much as anyone or anything in the movie is. It's an entity. Like the Ministry of Love or the Lord of the Flies conch. Right? It would totally get its own Cliffs Notes page. Plus, it's actually clear this time what they are selling. (Cue up Pomp and Circumstance, they are ready to graduate my marketing class!)
They sent me this great email:
The copy in the email reads:
It's here. And, it's AWESOME.
Harmon Kaslow and John Aglialoro present this very Special Edition Atlas Shrugged Part I Blu-Ray packaged in an amazing one-of-a-kind REARDEN STEEL collectible case housing over 2 hours of incredible bonus material.
IT IS BEAUTIFUL.
PRE-ORDER NOW FOR DEC. 19-23 DELIVERY.
[There is also some stuff about Midas Mulligan's annual sale, whut? And the Canadian premier! Ha! Eat that, Canadians!]
Atlas Shrugged: Part 1: The Search for Spock on Blu-Ray! In a Rearden Steel metal case! Note, this is not actually made of Rearden steel because Rearden steel is fictional. But still!
You and all your friends can order this one-of-a-kind item, which kind of makes me wonder if the marketing team knows what one-of-a-kind means. But nevermind!
The Blu-Ray comes in three different versions (Oof, what's the total now, twelve? Twelve different versions of this DVD/Blu-Ray thing?) with a bunch of exclusive features like the "I am John Galt" fan video compilation which is on the regular DVD, too. This also makes me wonder if the marketing team knows what exclusive means. Ah, well, in marketing words can mean anything you want, dictionaries be damned!
So give yourself (obviously) the gift of Rearden Steel this Xmas! I know I will. (I won't.)
Speaking of Xmas (a non-denominational holiday, just FYI) this stuff is also on Blu-Ray this week:
One Day. Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess have sex once a year for twenty years. Special packaging: Comes inside a Page-A-Day Calendar.
Friends With Benefits. Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake have sex. Special packaging: Comes inside a No Strings Attached DVD case.
The Adventures of Tintin. Cartoon version of the books! Woo hoo! Special packaging: Comes inside a reproduction of Tintin's rocket.
Walk a Mile in My Pradas. Switcheroo Comedy™ about a homophobe who turns gay. Boat Trip meets Vice Versa and/or Like Father Like Son. Special packaging: Comes in a time capsule from 1986.
Conan the Barbarian Reboot! About muscles and swords and (probably) does not feature any Grace Jones. Special packaging: Comes in a faux-fur loincloth.
The Smurfs Reboot! Computer-generated blue wee people (are they people?) get into hijinx and shenanigans with Doogie Howser. Retro! Special packaging: Comes in a can of creative bankruptcy.
Get shopping, Shruggers!
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Atlas Emails!
I got an email a little while ago from Atlas Shrugged Movie. That's really the name in the from field. It is really from the movie's marketing department. I must have signed up for email alerts from them at some point. Whoops. Personally, I think this should have come from "John Galt." That would have been neat. "Hey, Mom, John Galt just sent me an email!" See? Marketing 101.
Anyway, misery loves company (so says that Goo Goo Dolls song), so I thought I'd share:
The copy in the email reads:
I don't really know what this means. It references a one-day event on Friday, but the online store is open now and will, free-market willing, be open Saturday and I see nothing about special Black Friday discounts. Marketing 204 (an elective class) I bet teaches: Be sure your message is clear. Whoops.
I guess, maybe, if you're going to buy an Atlas Shrugged: Part I: The Undiscovered Country DVD do it on Friday? It's now available in nine (NINE!) different editions. Oof. To be an Atlas Shrugged: Part I DVD completist: Sad face.
See you Friday, Shruggians!
Anyway, misery loves company (so says that Goo Goo Dolls song), so I thought I'd share:
The copy in the email reads:
THIS FRIDAY, GIVE THE GIFT OF KNOWLEDGE.
Mark your calendar. This Friday, November 25, is the special one-day Gulch Store shopping event. Visit us online and give the very special blu-metal gift of lasting knowledge to your friends and family.
Browse the Gulch Store now for great gift ideas.
I don't really know what this means. It references a one-day event on Friday, but the online store is open now and will, free-market willing, be open Saturday and I see nothing about special Black Friday discounts. Marketing 204 (an elective class) I bet teaches: Be sure your message is clear. Whoops.
I guess, maybe, if you're going to buy an Atlas Shrugged: Part I: The Undiscovered Country DVD do it on Friday? It's now available in nine (NINE!) different editions. Oof. To be an Atlas Shrugged: Part I DVD completist: Sad face.
See you Friday, Shruggians!
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Monday, November 14, 2011
Today In Whoops
I know you're all excited by my announcement Friday regarding the DVD release of Atlas Shrugged: Part 1: The Phantom Menacers, so I hope this doesn't ruin your day.
The release has been marred by a typo, and 100,000 title sheets for the DVD will have to be replaced. The artwork for the DVD describes the film thusly: "Ayn Rand's timeless novel of courage and self-sacrifice comes to life..." Uh oh.
A spokesperson for the producer had this to say:
The company is replacing the sheets free of charge (also ironic) with new copy that reads "Ayn Rand's timeless novel of rational self-interest comes to life..." Much better!
But don't throw those originals out, Galtians, they're collector's items!
[H/t to everyone in the universe.]
The release has been marred by a typo, and 100,000 title sheets for the DVD will have to be replaced. The artwork for the DVD describes the film thusly: "Ayn Rand's timeless novel of courage and self-sacrifice comes to life..." Uh oh.
A spokesperson for the producer had this to say:
"It's embarrassing for sure and of course, regardless of how or why it happened, we're all feeling responsible right now. You can imagine how mortified we all were when we saw the DVD but, it was simply too late — the product was already on shelves all over the Country. It was certainly no surprise when the incredulous emails ensued. The irony is inescapable."
The company is replacing the sheets free of charge (also ironic) with new copy that reads "Ayn Rand's timeless novel of rational self-interest comes to life..." Much better!
But don't throw those originals out, Galtians, they're collector's items!
[H/t to everyone in the universe.]
Friday, November 11, 2011
It's Here!
Finally! After decades of waiting! It seemed like this day would never come but it has! Atlas Shrugged: Part I: Shrug Like There's No Tomorrow is now available on DVD!
Official Atlas Shrugged Movie DVD
Get your copy at the Official Www.atlasshruggedpart1.com Website for only $19.95! ("In stock. Order now for immediate delivery.") Or, get it at Amazon for $15.49 (Free market!) or download it for $3.99 (48 hour rental, free market, too!) or $14.99 (own it forever (i.e. until your harddrive crashes!)!). Or Qwikster it! Sorry, it isn't on Redbox yet (the market has spoken!)
It's also on Blu-ray in case you want to see the special effects in super high definition on your 97" plasma TV. (I thought plasma came from blood. They're not making these TVs out of blood are they?! "Personhood!") Oddly, the Blu-ray version doesn't seem to be available on the film's website. (Free market?) But that's okay, they make it up to you.
With this!:
Official Atlas Shrugged DVD: Collector's 4 DVD Box Set
For the collectors! If you collect Atlas Shrugged DVDs, this is the must have Atlas Shrugged DVD this season! Some of the exciting features in this set:
And if that's not enough, it comes in three (three!) separate editions! One with an actual film cel (recycling!) for $139.95 (a fool and his money!) and another with a film cell plus an autograph from someone (be surprised!) for $179.95! (Paypal not accepted.)
Just in time for Christmas! (Also, Santa: so NOT the Randian ideal. Those kids didn't earn those Legos!) Shake the invisble hand of the free market and get yours today.
Official Atlas Shrugged Movie DVD
Get your copy at the Official Www.atlasshruggedpart1.com Website for only $19.95! ("In stock. Order now for immediate delivery.") Or, get it at Amazon for $15.49 (Free market!) or download it for $3.99 (48 hour rental, free market, too!) or $14.99 (own it forever (i.e. until your harddrive crashes!)!). Or Qwikster it! Sorry, it isn't on Redbox yet (the market has spoken!)
It's also on Blu-ray in case you want to see the special effects in super high definition on your 97" plasma TV. (I thought plasma came from blood. They're not making these TVs out of blood are they?! "Personhood!") Oddly, the Blu-ray version doesn't seem to be available on the film's website. (Free market?) But that's okay, they make it up to you.
With this!:
Official Atlas Shrugged DVD: Collector's 4 DVD Box Set
For the collectors! If you collect Atlas Shrugged DVDs, this is the must have Atlas Shrugged DVD this season! Some of the exciting features in this set:
Each DVD contains the FULL Theatrical Release of ATLAS SHRUGGED Part I which opened in limited release nationwide April 15th, 2011 (Whut?)
"I am John Galt." fan video compilation (35:06) (35:06!)
"The John Galt Theme" slideshow (3:17) (Hawt!)
"The World of Atlas Shrugged" audio program (MP3 and ROM) (ROM? Huh?)
"Welcome" from FreedomWorks President Matt Kibbe (Fun!)
Barbara Branden on the Passion of Ayn Rand (Also fun!)
Exclusive footage from the April 14th premiere (Not fun!)
And if that's not enough, it comes in three (three!) separate editions! One with an actual film cel (recycling!) for $139.95 (a fool and his money!) and another with a film cell plus an autograph from someone (be surprised!) for $179.95! (Paypal not accepted.)
Just in time for Christmas! (Also, Santa: so NOT the Randian ideal. Those kids didn't earn those Legos!) Shake the invisble hand of the free market and get yours today.
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