Jason Calibri, interviewer: I'm Jason Calibri, with the financial news, here in Limerick, Ireland, talking to an Irishman about Wall Street. [turns to Denis Ryan, the Irishman Abroad] Sir, what do you think is happening on Wall Street right now?LOL!
Denis Ryan, the Irishman Abroad: I'll tell you what's happening on Wall Street right now—total fucking chaos, sir! We've had this bunch of fucking wanking bankers on Wall Street, who, for the last ten or fifteen years, have created or produced these hocus-pocus bunch of products like complicated derivatives and sub-prime mortgages that are bundled together, sold them to you and I with the blessing of the credit agencies, and of course we all know what happened in, around, two thousand and seven—all these airy-fairy schemes began to unravel! And, you know, these fuck-shites had gone to the hills with billions of dollars in bonuses, and of course, two thousand and eight, the government had to bail out the Wall Street crowd to the tune of approximately one-point-three trillion dollars.
Calibri: And by "the government," you mean...?
Ryan: By the government, I mean the hardworking people of the United States of America—the trades, small business[people], the fire[fighters], the police [officers], the nurses, and of course the future foundation of our society: teachers! And—do you know this, sir?—one of these banks that was bailed out on Wall Street in two thousand and eight to the tune of approximately seventy billion dollars, this year these greedy fuckers put aside for their employees a bonus pool for the first six months of two thousand and eleven to the tune of eight and a half billion dollars. That's what happening on Wall Street, sir. Greed, greed, and more fucking greed.
Calibri: I'm just curious—you mentioned Wall Street, um, is there a Wall Street in Limerick?
Ryan: Ah, piss off, sir. I'm going for a pint.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Give This Man a Gold Medal in Explaining Stuff
Via The Daily What, An Irishman Abroad gives "a thoughtful yet succinct explanation of why so people are so mad at Wall Street, which, naturally, requires the employment of myriad swear words."
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