F'd Ad Fridays: F'd Nutritional Science Edition

In my day, it was ketchup that the US government reclassified as a vegetable to meet nutritional standards for school lunches. Now, after great advanced in food science, they have decided to replace it with much-healthier pizza sauce.

In case their is any confusion, Jonathan Mann has created this helpful little PSA:



Via BoingBoing

An Open Letter to Hawkins Cheezies

Dear Mr. Hawkins

Today is Halloween, and I am giving out nothing but Cheezies.

This is not due to any obsession with your product. It is the best of its category, sure, but there are other reasons to give it out.

First of all, I am from Kingston. You are from Belleville. I now live in Ottawa. And your product gives me the opportunity to contribute to a regional family-owned business. My family and I buy local food as much as possible — Ontario wines, and local cheese, meat and produce. So the opportunity to make even our rare junk food purchases (sorry) locavorous is one we appreciate.

Second, I'm having more and more of a problem with chocolate these days. A child labour problem. So much of the cheap chocolate that will be given out tonight to excited children was illegally harvested by children their own age in Ghana and Ivory Coast. These kids are exposed to dangerous working conditions, climbing trees with machetes to harvest pods, and few of them go to school. Many are trafficked from neighbouring countries as slave labour. It's really sad.

That's why my wife and I have tried to move towards Fairtrade chocolate from another regional company, Camino. But that stuff is a little expensive for Halloween giveaways.

Your product, on the other hand, is very affordable. I just wish it had not been so hard to find. But I know how the companies of "Big Chips" dominate shelf space with money and pressure. My sharp-eyed son managed to find two 24-packs of 28g bags of Cheezies stuffed into a bottom shelf at the Halloween display in an Ottawa Wal-Mart. (We had to buy the rest in much more expensive 8-count bags from Metro.)

Part of my Hawkins horde.

I was surprised how few Hawkins Cheezies I could find in local retail. Everyone seems to agree that yours are the best. Humpty Dumpty's cheese things and Cheetos both have long and scary ingredients lists, compared to yours — including MSG. People like your crunch better, too, and the fact that the orange stuff is not quite so stainingly neon.

I would have expected that Halloween was the perfect time to mount a strong regional campaign, touting your provenance and your goodness, to encourage parents around Ontario to act as brand ambassadors to hand out Cheezies samples at their doors. But I saw nothing.

You have a good product, but I'm afraid that your marketing is a little old fashioned. Why can't I find this beloved Canadian brand on Facebook? Where would I hear your great story, if I had not bothered to Google you? You need help.

And it's not just the "promotional" P of marketing that you need to work on. While the product tastes great, I note that you are a hold-out for still using hydrogenated vegetable oil. While my son doesn't eat enough Cheezies to make the small amount of trans fats a health issue, your competitors have already made the switch to better oils. You need to do that, ASAP. The war on trans fats is not going away.

The other thing you could do is make sure your product fully lives up to its local, wholesome, made-in-Canada heritage. If you're using Canadian corn, you should proudly say so. People like that. And while I don't expect you to go organic, as a family-owned company you could become a very popular champion of smaller, family-owned farms that use non-GMO corn. This would also be a great thing to add to your story. Finally, using real aged cheddar is part of your Canadian charm. Is the cheese made regionally, or provincially? This could also be a great story to tell.

And then there's the peanut thing. Humpty Dumpty got their cheese sticks certified peanut free. I'm sure you could, too.

Your product will never be health food. But it is a "feel-good" food. Wouldn't it be great if you were able to out-maneuver your larger competition in Canada by being the cheese-flavoured snack with more to feel good about?

This is a conversation I'd like to have. So if you're in the neighbourhood tonight, please drop by for some Cheezies.

The cheesiest ad you will see today

AdFreak shared this new provocation by Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine:

It's going to be placed along the highway in De Pere, Wisconsin, where Green Bay Packers cheeseheads will see it on the way to Lambeau Field on Oct. 2 for a game against the Denver Broncos.

That's right, they want Wisconsinites to give up cheese.

From PCRM's release:

"Foods served at Lambeau Field’s eateries are typically loaded with cheese and other high-fat dairy products. Offerings include Hall of Fame Curds, which are deep-fried Wisconsin cheese curds; Cheesehead Beer Cheese Soup, made with cheddar cheese, beer, and then topped with more cheese; and nachos piled with cheddar cheese and sour cream. Americans today eat three times as much cheese as they did in 1970—almost 33 pounds per person in a single year.

'Our greatest concern is for children who are fed cheese products by their well-meaning parents,' says PCRM nutrition education director Susan Levin, M.S., R.D. “Cheese is loaded with fat, cholesterol, sodium—and calories. It ought to come with a warning label so consumers understand the health risk."

Oh, really?

In case you aren't familiar with these guys, they are actually an animal welfare organization in disguise. I have long considered them another front for PETA, although the relationship is arm's length, with PETA only providing them some funding.

There is no doubt that too much cheese is bad for your health. And Wisconsinites are overweight. But that's not really why PCRM wants people to stop eating cheese.

From Quackwatch:

"The Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine (PCRM) is a nonprofit association that claims to promote "optimal diet for prevention of disease," says there is evidence that humans don't have a specific requirement for protein, and teaches that "too much dietary protein from animal sources is detrimental to health."  PCRM's reference to "animal sources" is key to understanding its true purpose. Its leader, Neal Barnard, MD, has been identified as medical adviser to the radical animal rights organization People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), and PCRM may be substantially funded by it."

Which is certainly their prerogative. But why not be more honest about their motives? Because a billboard that says "the dairy industry is cruel to cows" does not appeal to people's self interest. Instead, PCRM goes after the consumption of animal-based foods with dire warnings about health consequences.

Personally, I am much more concerned about cruelty to humans than cruelty to animals. What would you think if I went on a rant about inhumane child labour in the cultivation of chocolate, coffee or bananas, but then I suddenly told you that I wanted you to stop buying those things because I'm worried for your health? You'd question my motives. (And probably ask me why I didn't consider Fairtrade tropical goods.)

Anything is bad for you in excess. Factory farming is disgusting and cruel. And PCRM is not a very "responsible" advertiser, IMHO.