Update to Women Gaming Post

(TW sexual violence)

Yesterday, I posted (TW sexual violence) an e-mail that I'd written to a friend in my gaming group, asking him to speak up for me in asking our fellow gamers (a group of white cis men in their 40s) to stop making references to sexual violence around me.

My friend wrote back last night, after the session (which I couldn't attend), and I share the response with his permission:

I spoke to the guys, they all said pretty much the same. No offense meant and if something is said, just let them know. It has been mentioned to them now.

Teaspoon raised, and a bit of bailing done.

ô,ôP

Hells Yeah News

True facts:
1. I am a lady
2. I like teh sports
3. I like teh sports video games

I'm a particularly big fan of hockey, because I grew up in Minnesota and hockey is part of my religion. :cough:

Stop me if you've heard this one before, but sometimes the people who design video games (always) forget that I exist. So, if you're playing EA's hockey game, you can create an avatar, provided that avatar represents a dude.

Lexi Peters, a 14-year-old girl from Upstate, was all like 'What the fuck, yo?' So, she wrote to EA.

In a show of savvy public relations, EA decided to add an option for a female avatar, using Peters' likeness as the model. Score.

Via @ShelbyKnox

Why Aren't There More Women in Gaming?

(TW for sexual violence)

Ha, fooled you, I'm only sorta gonna answer that.

Actually, what I want to do is post the text of an e-mail I just sent to my gaming group, which is largely men of a similar age to me - in their 40s. I enjoy our game sessions, and we've even formed the intent to make a game company together, as we're all designers, and see if we can get some of our better designs published. We even focus on cooperative-style games, or what we call semi-coop (one player v the rest).

I've addressed the e-mail to my best friend in the group, someone I've camped with, watched many movies and TV with, a good friend. I'll let the e-mail outline the problem I've been having (TW for rape mention, trigger process description):

$MY_FRIEND, one thing I've been thinking about, and I think I need to bring up.

One reason I've been reluctant to spend more time in the group environment is that it's really unsafe for me, emotionally. There are a few members - $TALL_GUY, notably, but $DRINK_SPILLY_GUY too, among others - who regularly drop rape jokes or comments into discussions.

These comments put me in a bit of a fugue state sometimes - I'm triggered into remembering the numerous people who have sexually assaulted me (and I'm talking, I can't count 'em on one hand). I disappear inside, I feel terror, I break out in sweat, I can't think straight or make decisions or function well.

I'm writing you privately, because I want to ask your help in bringing it up to the others. I know from experience that bringing this up to a group of men is, itself, a seriously triggering thing for me, but I can't let it go anymore, or I can't be part of the group (or the game collective). I also know from experience that if I don't have at least one male ally willing to speak up on the topic, I'll get shouted down, told to go make a sandwich, to stop harshing their buzz, stop "censoring" them, stop being oversensitive, learn to take a joke. Please don't tell me it wouldn't happen: this is the experience of someone with a long, LONG history of trying to ask this of largely-male gamer groups.

Do you think you could help me raise the issue? Or maybe bring it up when I'm not there, like tonight (I have theatre commitments)?

I'm not asking them to be perfect overnight, but it'd be really hard for me to work long-term with people who feel the need to keep using these kinds of comment. And believe me, it's not just me. I've caught the looks, the glances, the hurt face, on others as well at various events. This is an important issue to me, and to anyone who cares for or is a survivor.

Thanks for considering. By the way, I have noticed that you NEVER do this, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.

Cait

We'll see whether it has an effect.

But I wanted to raise it as a larger issue, inspired by the mention in today's Occupy Round-Up of the articles about Occupy's "woman problem" (TW rape, sexism, bullying), because I want to be able to enjoy my games in emotional safety with my friends. And I can't do that, if those "friends" will be casually sending me into a fugue six times a night.

I'll post an update with the response when I have one. If you're a man and a gamer, consider standing up for your fellow gamers who are women like this. Don't wait for a possibly-traumatized person to have to bring it up for themselves.

It's an area where we need men as allies, because the kind of men who do this don't listen to women. They don't consider our voices or needs important.

And yes, of course some men are sexually assaulted too, so this only has a broader application, but we know from experience that men who've been assaulted are often even more reluctant than women who've been assaulted, because of the societal construction of masculinity in opposition to femininity, so bringing this up helps them too.

The Shelter Pet Project

Beagle, sitting in the living room of a home, 'speaking' in male voiceover as white woman walks around in background collecting scattered dog toys and putting them in basket: So, I'm kinda new here, but I've noticed a trend. My human does this funny thing where she goes around and gets all my toys, and then she hides them in that basket by the door. Y'know, but it's always the same basket, and it's always in the same place! [Chuckles.] And then she acts so surprised when I find them, but, y'know, she's putting them in the same basket! Again! It's like, hello! That's where you put it last time! You are the WORST at hide and go seek!

Text Onscreen: A Person Is the Best Thing to Happen to a Shelter Pet. Be That Person. Adopt. theshelterpetproject.org

The Humane Society of the United States, in conjunction with Maddie's Fund and the Ad Council, has launched a public service campaign called The Shelter Pet Project to encourage people to adopt a shelter pet (or a pet at a rescue) instead of buying one. Since the project launched in 2009, the percentage of pets in US homes that were adopted from animal shelters and rescue groups has increased from 27% to 29%, and euthanasia has decreased by 10% from 3 million to 2.7 million.

The second phase of the campaign is being rolled out now, including a series of new ads (like the one above), and The Shelter Pet Project could really use the support of people interested in animal rescue to help raise awareness.

In addition to writing about the campaign to spread the word, you can: Like the Shelter Pet Project on Facebook, follow the Shelter Pet Project on Twitter, and share your shelter pet's story here.

"Choosing to adopt is game-changing for you and life-saving for an animal. Pets end up in shelters through no fault of their own—they are often victims of circumstance. If enough people in our nation choose adoption, we can eliminate the euthanasia of healthy and treatable pets in our country."—Wayne Pacelle, president and CEO of The Humane Society of the United States.

Please feel welcome and encouraged to leave pictures of your shelter or rescue pet in comments.

[Related Reading: Sophie Comes to Shakes Manor; Dudley Comes to Shakes Manor; Zelda Comes to Shakes Manor.]

Don't Let Yer Badgers Grow Up To Be Weasels*

This morning, Wisconsinites officially began collecting signatures to recall Governor Scott Walker.

The Wisconsin State Journal:

The Democratic Party of Wisconsin hosted a petition pickup party Monday night, and more than 40 recall supporters wore party hats and blew kazoos as they counted down the final seconds before 12:01 a.m.

Margaret Kraegy, 49, walked out of the Democratic office at 330 E. Wilson St. with petition in hand by 12:25 a.m. Kraegy, a heavy equipment operator for the Madison Parks Division, said she had to start circulating petitions because the legislation passed under Walker's watch has harmed her family and coworkers.

"I'm taking off work a half-hour early tomorrow so I'm not collecting signatures on city time," Kraegy said.

Of course, folks have been working on this tirelessly on since early this year when Walker and the state GOP circumvented the state constitution to please their corporate masters.

I don't know about the rest of you, but this is the kind of activism that keeps me moving.

On a tangential and personal note, over the past several months, I've made arrangements to leave academia and move with my family back to our adopted hometown of Madison in time to whip up some pre-recall jello salad. I'm sure at some point I'll have tons to say about the academy (hoo-boy), about Syracuse, and about moving home. Right now, I'm just tired.

But damn, as much as I love a lot of things about Syracuse (you wouldn't know it from my writing, but it's true), I'm so fucking excited to move back to a place where post it notes are a vital tool in the fight for democracy.

If you want to learn more about how to help with the recall effort, visit United Wisconsin.

--
*Screenprinting, fuck yeah.

Quote of the Day

"If we don't take a stand, who will?"—Diona Murray, a neighbor of Tawanna Rorey, who, with her law enforcement officer husband and their children, was scheduled to be evicted from their foreclosed-upon suburban Atlanta home by the sheriff's department, until Occupy Atlanta showed up to protest.

A Sheriff's Department spokeswoman said the foreclosure process for the Roreys was still ongoing and that no eviction had been scheduled for that address.

Experts were doubtful that the protest could do much to help the family. Misty A. Oaks, an Atlanta lawyer who specializes in foreclosure, said sitting in at an foreclosed home won't be effective legally.

"But it certainly will make for an interesting story and bring attention to the issues surrounding foreclosures and the enormous ramifications foreclosures are having," she said.

Once an eviction notice has been entered into the system, a homeowner no longer has title to the property, and anyone on it can be forcibly removed as a trespasser, Oaks said.

That reality did little to dampen the spirit of the protesters. They set up two tents in the front yard, draped a "This Home is Occupied" sign over the porch railing.

It may just be delaying the inevitable, but if we don't take a stand, who will?

Good question.

[Via Zaid.]

Number of the Day

$2 million: The amount of money fast food chain Chick-fil-A donated to anti-gay groups in 2009.

Earlier this year, Chick-fil-A became embroiled in a controversy surrounding its donations to anti-gay groups. Though Chick-fil-A president Dan Cathy denied having an "agenda against anyone," an Equality Matters investigation discovered that Chick-fil-A donated more than $1 million to anti-gay causes between 2003 and 2008. Now, new IRS 990 forms reveal that the company donated nearly two million dollars to anti-gay groups in 2009 alone, the most recent year for which public records are available.

There are a handful of Chick-fil-A franchises opening in the area where I live, the first time the brand has been in this market. I've never been to a Chick-fil-A, and had no real desire to go, but I might have tried it once just for the sheer curiosity after singing along to Ben Folds' "Army" for 12 years. Grew a mustache and a mullet / Got a job at Chick-fil-A / Citing artistic differences / The band broke up in May... Heh.

Guess who won't be giving a dime to them now...?

If you'd like to let Chick-fil-A know that they won't be getting any(more) of your business, you can tweet at them, visit their Facebook page, or submit feedback at their website.

[H/T to Deeky.]